Nejnovější vtipy. Úplně všechny

Vtipy o sexu

Vrah odsouzeny na dozivoti, uprchne po petadvaceti letech z vezeni. Na uteku se ukryje v dome na samote, kde zije jen cerstve sezdany manzelsky par. Vrah pripouta manzela k zidli a manzelku na posteli. Pak se k ni nakloni, jako by ji chtel libat na siji. Najednou se otoci a odejde z mistnosti. Manzel okamzite priskace s zidli k posteli a septa manzelce: "Milacku, videl jsem jak se k tobe ma, libal te na siji. Lasko, ten chlap nevidel petadvacet let zenskou, jestli se te bude chtit zmocnit neklad odpor, nase zivoty lezi jen v tvych rukou!!! Delej co chce, tvar se, ze se ti to libi! Jen ho prosim, nenastvi! Slysis! Bud statecna! Miluju te!" Kdyz se konecne podari zene vyplivnout roubik, septa udychane manzelovi zpatky: "Milacku jsem rada, ze mas na vec takovy nazor. Je pravdou, ze ten chlap nevidel petadvacet let zenu, ale nemas pravdu, ze by me libal na siji, to mi jen septal do ucha. On si mysli, ze jsi proste roztomily a chtel vedet, kde mame vazelinu..Milacku bud statecny! Miluji te!"
Dej vtipu lajk
známka: 1.8 (238 hlasů), detail vtipu, přidat komentář

Vtipy o sexu

Prijde novy sef do sve kancelare, kde prebira misto po minulem rediteli. Pritom ho ten stary reditel poucuje, co a jak, a prijdou na tema sekretarky... Ten stary reditel rika: "Az si budes chtit ... sroubnout, musis rict sekretarce, ze chces napsat dopis do Istanbulu..."
Novy reditel se sice divi, ale poslechne ho a na druhy den rika sekretarce:
"Evo, chtel bych napsat dopis do Istanbulu !"
"Pane rediteli, zrovna nemuzu, mam cervenou pasku ve stroji ..."
Reditel se divi, ale nerika nic. Za tyden prijde sekretarka:
"Uz jsem si vymenila tu pasku, muzeme to napsat ..."
"Neni treba, zvladl jsem to rucne..."
"Ooo, kdybych vedela, ze to tak specha, vyridili bychom to ustne..."
Dej vtipu lajk
známka: 2.11 (200 hlasů), detail vtipu, přidat komentář

Vtipy o sexu

Radio Jerevan vyhlasi hadankarskou soutez. Otazka pro prvni tyden zni:
"Ivan a Natasa jdou po poli. Vtom prileti vcelka Trajdalka a vletne Natase pod sukni. Kam zabodne zihadlo?"
Po tydnu radio Jerevan hlasi:
"Prislo nam 3428 vesmes oplzlych odpovedi. Jen jedna byla spravna. Vcelka Trajdalka samozrejme bodne Ivana do ruky."
Dej vtipu lajk
známka: 2.11 (193 hlasů), detail vtipu, přidat komentář

 
 
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Celkem 7019 vtipů v naší databázi.